Vulnerabilty and The Enneagram

I surprised myself tonight when I answered the question, "What is the biggest problem you face in your writing?" with, "I have difficultly being vulnerable." In my writing, I disclose lots but there's much more that I'm holding back. Everything I reveal is calculated. I disclose facts and paint pictures--the pictures are evocative but I'm hardly in them. I struggle with competing desires--to reveal absolutely everything and to withdraw. I want so much to be understood, but at the same time I hate to feel vulnerable.

So, moving in the direction of vulnerability I share my affection for The Enneagram, a personality theory that I've studied off and on for a very long time.
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

The theory includes nine different personality types and a person is categorized not by his or her actions, but by his/her motivations. So, in essence, two people could be doing the exact same job but for decidedly different reasons.

And this is the personality type that I most certainly am, a Four:

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else. While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations. In the course of their lives, Fours may try several different identities on for size, basing them on styles, preferences, or qualities they find attractive in others. But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they really are. The problem is that they base their identity largely on their feelings. When Fours look inward they see a kaleidoscopic, ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions.