Teaching and Writing and Puzzles, oh my!

I have two talents. Two things I have always been innately good at. Singing and editing. Singing I know how to do and always have, even as I sat in the backseat of our giant brown van on car trips, singing softly to Amy Grant.

I know what it feels like when I hit a right note and I'm not sure I've ever hit a wrong one. I'm unclear as to why anyone would take singing lessons. Unless of course they want to sing classical opera--I doubt I could do that. But to express myself in my own voice is easy. (Or as my mother would make us say when I was little, singing is "easy for me"--rather than simply across the board "easy." We were also not allowed to say that we were "starving"--because we weren't). (This sounds a little egotistical perhaps and now I'm paranoid one of you will come to my show and critique me, but lately I'm trying to acknowledge that my talents are special...to remember that not everyone can do what I do).

And editing is easy for me. I am a slow reader. I read out loud in my head, but this seems to give me a talent for editing. Like some of my friends are innately good at math, I am good at editing. It's like a math problem to me. A puzzle of sorts, and I love putting it together. (Though I hate putting actual puzzles together. Gives me a headache...especially the last one I did of The Kremlin in Moscow...).

I've sometimes thought I'd like to be an editor but lately I've been thinking I'd like to teach writing. This idea has been giving me so much energy lately. I always figured I'd get a PhD at some point and would teach literature and writing then, but now I'm thinking I might be ready. I love reading pieces and noting where the energy is. To express this energy and excitement to the writer/student. I'm feeling, I guess you could say, passionate about it. I want to encourage students, other writers, to be passionate about their work, to realize that what they're doing is important. Perhaps I even want to be inspiring...

I hadn't wanted to teach when I was an undergrad. Afraid of the old adage, "Those who can't do teach." But that notion is ridiculous. Most writers end up teaching and it's much more difficult to be a good teacher than a dismissive egotistical writer who's annoyed by teaching responsibilities. To get into your student's work even though it might not be the most brilliant piece you've ever read is a talent, and one worth pursuing.

In the past I hadn't wanted to teach, less because I don't like the work than because I've been insecure about my own talents, my own work. In workshops at Chatham, it's been challenging (and therapeutic) for me to learn not to dismiss a piece because I think it's terrible. It's been a good exercise both in editing/teaching and in ego taming. To instead work hard to discover what exactly is making a piece terrible. (To my fellow students, your pieces are not terrible...but there were a few pieces I really had to work hard not to dismiss in my other courses...) Wow, this sounds bad too but this entry is really about me, what I've learned, than about who's written something that I don't think is working. It's more about me getting my hands dirty and figuring out why it's not working.

I'm hoping that as part of my program I'll get to do some teaching at Chatham, to work with a professor and get my feet wet. (For the record, Sheryl, I'll do it for free if I have to!) :-)